Some years ago, when I first went online dating… I was asked “what was I looking for in a relationship?”. Apparently “A way out” wasn’t the right answer” I’ve learnt a few things since then.
Online dating has gone from something you don’t talk about to… the most effective way of meeting people who are looking for a relationship of some description. Where else are you to meet people these days if not online. Before the internet, even the 3rd isle near the frozen food section at your local supermarket, was an option, with varing success. Whether you’ve been online for years or you’re new to the scene, here are some tips (from experience) that will hopefully attract, intelligent, beautiful women online and entice them to engage with you and your messages.
Ive spent a lot of time noticing what works and what doesn’t and in the process, spoke to a number of single women about what they’re looking for in a potential partner or date. Obviously this is directed to those men who’s intentions are to find a long term, significant relationship, (and not for hookups). Ive put together a few thoughts about creating an effective profile that will bolster your compatibility with you ideal partner.
Three Words: Attention To Detail
One of the hardest things to do is to write about yourself. Ive never been a big fan of shameless self promotion, I get it… but putting “Just Ask” or “Will Fill in Later” in your ‘About Me’ section is not going to cut the mustard, let alone swipe you into the ‘favourites’. Imagine that whoever is reading your profile wants to know a bit about you, who you are, and what makes you, you. Women want to see effort put into your profile… its reflective of the type of partner you potentially could be to them.
Talk about what makes you and your story unique. Remember to keep it short and snappy. Think about what would inspired someone to send you a message or motivate them to reply? Please for godsake be different, If I see another profile with “GSOH…” or hoping to“find the one” or worse still “partner in crime” Im going to cut someone.
Talk about what you are passionate about, what makes any moment, however insignificant… special to you. Describe what your perfect weekend would look like. If its working on your car or motorbike… fine, but why? Maybe its because it reminds you of time you spent with your dad fixing your pushbike and it reminded you of him. That’s personal and it adds depth and personality simply by telling your story. Dont bang on about how funny you and your friends think you are… weave humour into your story and profile descriptors.
Women are grammar nazis when it comes to anything written by a bloke, not to mention a dating profile. Remember to use spell check or at the very least always review your message before pressing send.
Remove any negativity from your vocabulary.
Remember, your online profile is not a forum for slapping down unresolved issues or greiviances with previous partners. Its also not a place to dis your ex. Dont talk about “baggage” in anyway. If you happen to read a profile that mentions that he/she “doesn’t have any baggage…” run, swipe left… delete…next… stay well clear of that one. Regardless of how self aware or emotionally evolved someone is…everyone has baggage, its all about how we ‘manage’ it. And I can guarantee you that if they haven’t got any baggage… it only stands to reason that they will find ‘your’ baggage , drag it through customs/security and blame you for anything and everything that goes wrong in the relationship.
Remember keep your profile light and breezy. Give them an insight into your lifestyle. We are all emotional beings… let that come through in your profile, open up a little, be vulnerable, it demonstrates your confidence and strength as a man to be comfortable showing feelings.
Profile Pic:
Women will form an opinion of you within the the first few seconds of viewing it. So make it count. Remember, this is your hero shot, it tells a woman everything about you. So if you are taking a selfie remember to clean up the mess, and pick up the wet towels on the floor behind you. She’ll be thinking… “Im not gonna clean that shit up…(next)”. So in a nutshell:
Donts:
Dont post pics where you’re half naked or showing your abs or worse pointing to them or any other muscule you might be impressed with… sure as shit, she wont be. No pics that are suggestive. Dont do group shots or where your ex is scratched out…pixelated, burred or torn out. Dont use a flash… it ages you by 5-10 years. Dont put up pics of you in a busty bikini cladd harem. You and your mates might think it says “Stud, party animal, chick-magnet” Women however think “Player, douche, dipshit”. Try to dress up for the occasion. for example no baseball caps worn backwards, holding a fish in one hand and a schooner in the other whilst sporting a wife-bashing singlet thats seen better days.
Do’s:
Pick shots of you doing what your passionate about. But no pointing at that fish you’ve just caught… especially if you are on the Plenty Of Fish dating site. Use recent or pics that are no more than 18months old. If you have pics of you in a suit or a uniform of some sort…put it in, women lap that shit up. As it demonstrates another side of you… one where you can scrub up well. Smile with eye contact. Finally, get an honest opinion (of your profile) from a female friend you trust.
Messaging
Here’s a thought…actually read her profile… they’ll be pleasantly suprised. Ask or talk about her interests, what she enjoys doing and why… and be genuine. Because if your not… women have a highly sensitive bullshit radar.. If you find something in common, even better, talk about that.
Its all about the ‘meeting’.
If you’re getting on like a house on fire after half a dozen messages… ask her out.
Remember, some women prefer to organise a first date online (as opposed to exchanging numbers) due to unfortunate previous experiences after messageing via mobile. However if she is comfortable with exchanging numbers, great! Make sure you message her that day, don’t leave it any longer, its reasurring to her that you are legit. Keep the messaging short, sweet and to the point. Dont get caught up in the endless messaging loop. These early txt messages are about orgainging a time and a place to meet that’s it. It’s not a time for you to get all weird and creepy with fantasy revelations or kinky shit like that. No woman alive is desperately hoping to see a pic of your todger, so keep it in your pants unless she asks to see it (if she does…I’d have second thoughts) So for the love of god… No, I repeat…NO dick pics, you will be blocked and deleted before she can say “WTF”.